I accidentally had phone sex last night
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
