no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
