I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
