I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
