there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do vagina's smell?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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