I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
