I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
