Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
