tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
