I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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