seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
