erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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