i would punch a child for taco bell
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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