You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
it glows. i had to have it.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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