I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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