Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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