if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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