I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Oh god it's open bar.
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