I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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