I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
