i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
