I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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