We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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