Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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