he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize