do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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