do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
