watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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