i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
