We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
did i just pee glitter
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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