just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
