WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am spending my child support on dildos
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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