I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
