I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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