well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize