For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
