I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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