Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This baby is an asshole
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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