tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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