Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
