I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
