i wish starbucks made bloody marys
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You were trust falling into bushes
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
