Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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