I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
