I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
