real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
