I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
