only if we run a train.
done.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize