so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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