You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
