Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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