I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
