ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
