this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
