i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
