Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
