I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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