I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
