Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
