I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Pants are for mortals
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
